Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Welcome to Your Authentic Indian Experience™

Welcome to Your Authentic Indian Experience™ is an award-winning 2017 science fiction short story by Rebecca Roanhorse. You can read it online here. It begins,
You maintain a menu of a half dozen Experiences on your digital blackboard, but Vision Quest is the one the Tourists choose the most. That certainly makes your workday easy. All a Vision Quest requires is a dash of mystical shaman, a spirit animal (wolf usually, but birds of prey are on the upswing this year), and the approximation of a peyote experience. Tourists always come out of the Experience feeling spiritually transformed. (You’ve never actually tried peyote, but you did smoke your share of weed during that one year at Arizona State, and who’s going to call you on the difference?) It’s all 101 stuff, really, these Quests. But no other Indian working at Sedona Sweats can do it better. Your sales numbers are tops.

Your wife Theresa doesn’t approve of the gig. Oh, she likes you working, especially after that dismal stretch of unemployment the year before last when she almost left you, but she thinks the job itself is demeaning.

“Our last name’s not Trueblood,” she complains when you tell her about your nom de rêve.

“Nobody wants to buy a Vision Quest from a Jesse Turnblatt,” you explain. “I need to sound more Indian.”

“You are Indian,” she says. “Turnblatt’s Indian-sounding enough because you’re already Indian.”

“We’re not the right kind of Indian,” you counter. “I mean, we’re Catholic, for Christ’s sake.”

What Theresa doesn’t understand is that Tourists don’t want a real Indian experience.

The Daughter came over yesterday afternoon for a wonderful socially distant patio visit and brought a blueberry pie made from scratch. What a treat! And it's sweet of her to think of me :)

Please join me at Bleubeard and Elizabeth's T Stands for Tuesday blogger gathering.


  1. Good morning, sounds like an interesting story and what a great pairing with your chai. I do love chai but have to look for a decaf version.
    How sweet of her to make a pie-love the shape of her pie pan too have not seen that before. love baking in those heavy stoneware pans too. Pretty coffee cup too-Happy T Kathy

  2. ...now that's a pie!!!

  3. I really enjoyed that Twilight Zone short story, and Chai tea and a piece of blueberry pie would be perfect for breakfast. I love the happy face of the blueberry pie, too. So nice of your daughter to visit. Happy T Day

  4. I was going to say I enjoy Rebecca Roanhorse as an author but then I saw that happy pie. Oh my. I adore it! Blueberry is right up there with chocolate cream as favorites for me! Hurrah for daughters is all I can say! Happy T day. Hugs-Erika

  5. Oh yum to the blueberry pie - how kind & thoughtful of your daughter. I like milky chai tea best.

  6. Blueberry pie! It looks wonderful! Happy T Day, Valerie

  7. When I first saw the pie in the second photo, I thought the pie pan had broken. Then I enlarged and saw it was a knife. DUH. It's a wonderful looking pie and you are truly blessed. Thanks for sharing it and your chai (?) with us for T this very special anniversary Tuesday.

    I'm sorry you had trouble with Inlinkz. CJ did too, at first, but apparently got it to work after awhile. I had NO idea it tracks you. That's the first I've EVER heard that. I will write to Marie at Inlinkz and ask her about it.

  8. Oh, I'm so glad you got a visit! And pie! :) :)