When I got to The Grandmother's yesterday morning she was still in bed and feeling very puny. I stayed most of the day. I couldn't get her to eat anything. It's very frustrating when she's like this. I left for a while but went back over there after our paid helper had come and gone. The Grandmother's back was hurting a lot. I got her to bed, and she said she'd be ok, so I came on home. I wish... I wish she had eaten right all along, because she wouldn't be as bad off now. I wish she had agreed to throw in with us financially so we could've bought a house where she could live with us. I wish... but wishing doesn't make it so.
Today is The Evil Sister's birthday, and I wish somehow she knew what these last few years have been like for me, and I wish she knew how The Grandmother (my mother and The Evil Sister's mother, too) was doing and how much difference it would make if she would actively involve herself in The Grandmother's care or maybe even contact her on Mother's day or her birthday or Christmas, or any time. But again, wishing doesn't make it so. And besides, The Evil Sister doesn't care.
Not that I'm bitter or anything.
While I was there I just sat with The Grandmother and flipped channels on the tv. Eventually I found Escape from New York just starting. It is a 1981 science fiction movie directed by John Carpenter and starring Kurt Russell, Lee Van Cleef (you can't go wrong there), Ernest Borgnine, Donald Pleasence, Isaac Hayes, Harry Dean Stanton and Adrienne Barbeau (who has a Star Trek connection). The World Trade Center towers figure prominently in the film. It was just the thing for me. The Grandmother slept through it.
trailer:
Moria praises the casting and special effects and says it's "one of the first science fiction/action hybrids" and "one of the most witty and stylish of these sf/action films". The New York Times calls it "by far Mr. Carpenter's most ambitious, most riveting film to date". Slant Magazine has a review describing it as "timeless activist cinema".
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Sorry to hear your mother is in such poor health, and that you are alone to care for her. Family relations can be hard.
ReplyDeleteI haven´t seen "Escape from New York" in a long time, but I liked it. I have a major soft spot for Ernest Borgnine.
thx. at least mother finally agreed to let me hire some help. she spent over 2 years absolutely refusing. it makes a huge difference that i only have to go over there once a day.
Deleteyes, i love ernest borgnine. a prime example of cuteness (in the good sense of the word) at every age.
My wife's parents are staying with us right now it's been since before Christmas. Her dad's birthday is coming up and if my wife doesn't pester her brothers and sisters it will go by unobserved. Sometimes people are just to self involved to care about anything outside of them selves. It's tough not being able to make or help people to see that the world doesn't center on them alone.
ReplyDeletemy sister has always been this way. i'm sure she thinks she's been the picture of self-sacrificial aid. she did help out for one meal most days for a while. she is unresponsive to any encouragement to acknowledge these occasions. i'm sure when she gets her half of whatever's left when mother dies, that'll be the last i hear from her. unless she needs something.
Deleteif we had a ground floor bedroom mother would be living with us now. my guess is that would probably be harder than what i'm doing now, except that i wouldn't have to get out in bad weather. is it working ok for y'all? i keep looking for affordable, suitable housing we could all move into together, but i haven't found anything yet. i just know the day will come when this family-run assisted living program we've cobbled together won't be enough, and that scares me.
It isn't great but we are managing and at least in our case know that it is temporary. My wife's parents live in a fifth wheel normally and it is not really financially realistic to stay in during the winter,expensive to heat. We know the day is coming soon when they will not be able to manage in a trailer we kind of think it is now but they don't see it yet. It's really hard parenting our elders but I'm sure you realize that. Your doing what's right and someday will feel the satisfaction in that.
Deletei'm doing what mother wants, but she would've been better off letting me do what i thought best instead of doing what she wanted. my sister is feeling much more satisfaction right now than i ever will. i'm afraid mother will end up in a nursing home since there's no way she can live here and my sister is not open to letting her move into their spare bedroom. i'm afraid she won't last long in a nursing home.
Deleteshe is back to her old self today, tho, so i'm glad this latest spell is past us.