Chemical Wedding

Chemical Wedding (or Crowley) is a 2009 British horror film about the return of occultist Aleister Crowley. Dreadful, absolutely dreadful. I'll watch almost anything and yet didn't finish this one. It's hard to describe exactly where it goes wrong. The acting isn't bad, production values seem fine to me, the music is ok, but somewhere between the leering purple-suited professor complaining that the prostitute is obviously not a natural red-head and the scene where he's begging to be caned even harder while he ejaculates onto a piece of paper he'll send to the next red-head I just gave up trying to care.

trailer:

The Guardian says, "it's never boring." Quiet Earth calls it a cult masterpiece

Time Out gives it 2 out of 5 stars and says, "Written by Iron Maiden singer Bruce Dickinson and directed by former ‘Monty Python’ collaborator Julian Doyle, ‘Chemical Wedding’ is an anomaly most notable for Callow’s off-the-rails performance. Unfortunately, most other elements just don’t cut it". Empire Online also has a 2 out of 5 star rating and calls it "often as silly as it is spooky".

HorrorNews.net has a glowing review that begins,

An incredible movie about none other than the infamous Aleister Crowley. A film that delves into deep places that really requires 2 viewing’s to get the sum of its whole

and closes with this:

Final word? – A wonderful film that I’ll re-watch many times! Deeply sustaining, and historically engaging! Brilliantly intelligent horror that comes from a darker place close to home and place in science that is just around the corner.