Monday, January 15, 2018

Lies

Henri Matisse: Interior at Nice (Room at the Beau Rivage), 1917–1918

At NYBooks.com you can read a short story by J.M. Coetzee. I've read and enjoyed a couple of his books. This story is Lies and begins,
Dear Norma,

I am writing from San Juan, from the one and only hotel here. I visited Mother this afternoon—a half-hour drive along a tortuous road. Her condition is as bad as I had feared, and worse. She cannot walk without her stick, and even then she is very slow. She has not been able to climb the stairs since returning from the hospital. She sleeps on the sofa in the living room.
I pray I won't refuse to recognize the truth if I come to such a pass.

9 comments:

  1. There is an ad on TV about a product that aids you in putting on your socks. I said to myself, the day comes I can't put on my own socks, will be the day they can put me in a nursing home. I can't ever foresee recognizing the truth, but I worry about dementia. I love the Matisse painting.

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    1. I've known people who can't bend that far because of back issues, and they use that sock aid like I use a step ladder. I'll have to get a lot worse than that ;) but being truly frail is what I fear. I hope I'll recognize when that happens.

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  2. The real truth is a scary conversation. A difficult conversation. Having dealt with it with my mom, and I don't look forward to that conversation when I am on the end of getting it. I do the like Matisse art you showed with this piece. I wonder if mother agreed to move to one of those nice places. :) Hugs-Erika

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    1. I had no trouble approaching Mother, but she just would not _listen_ :( and I was unwilling to _make_ her move. I don't know what to expect for myself moving forward...

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  3. I am not worried about knowing the truth--if I still have all my marbles. I want to remain independent as long as possible, of course, but the day might come and I have no spouse to help me stay at home longer. Those are just the facts. But--it's not having all my marbles that worries me the most because then I might not know what the truth is anymore. Happened to one grandmother...but not till her 90s. (She lived to be 104, though.) Not easy. My mother will be 88 or is it 89 in Feb and is frailer since the car accident, but she lives alone in a trailer park in Florida nine months of the year. It was difficult to get her to agree to come up to Minnesota to stay with my brother and SIL for the summers even. Stubborn Swedes. I hope I am not that stubborn when the time comes. But I don'tlive thousands of miles away from family, either. ;)

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    1. I don't have dementia in my family, and I'm healthy except for the osteoporosis. I, too, would prefer to live in my own home, even if it's not as safe for me as a nursing home. But I hope to make those decisions myself. It's a delicate balance.

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  4. Thoughtprovoking ----
    we had no one yet in my family that had to go to a nursing home, but I have seen a film about dementia recently that made me thinking a lot .
    Beautiful Matisse - painting!
    Happy week and happy T-Day !

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    1. My paternal grandmother went into a nursing home, but daddy was long dead by then and we had no part in that decision. These decisions are so difficult :(

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  5. My dad went into a nursing home in the summer of 2013, it was more difficult for me than it was for him.

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